My Funny Valentine

It has been said that single people hate Valentines Day until they are in a relationship or married. This is probably true, since people in love want to find any and every opportunity to celebrate each other. For the single person, marriage seems grossly unattainable - it seems so far and distant. For the married person, love is tangible and (hopefully) real. Those that are single and those that are married are always put in two different categories. Today I would like to point out the commonality between both groups. Today we explore real love - whether Eros or not - Real love is more dynamic than flowers and chocolate. Real love has to be discovered before the honeymoon - and far before meeting "the one."

The problem is that many marriages don't last, and love as we know it has grown more elusive and dim as ever before.

Is love a feeling? I surely hope not since we don't always feel full of love. Is romantic love necessary to feel the fullness of love? Those of you that are married would argue yes. Those of you who are single may still argue yes, which is why you are waiting so anxiously for that Prince Charming or Cinderella to win you over. In America, when you look into peoples' eyes, it is very easy to see that people do not feel loved. Often times, it is the people that are in relationships or marriages that cannot accept love. I believe that human beings have such deep need to be loved. It is how much we feel loved that determines are thoughts and actions. It is how safe we feel that determines what risks we are willing to take, and so on and so forth.

It blows my mind as to the kinds of decisions we make when we do not experience the fullness of love. I do believe in some things being instilled in you only after meeting your permanent Valentine. I do believe that the matters of the heart are so volatile and tricky - and sometimes it takes another person to bring stability and a sense of wholeness - but that's not what we are talking about today.

Today, we are talking about love that is much more radical. The love of your spouse is a dim second to the love that comes from Someone else. Most of us expect love to begin with a spouse. I believe that love which begins with a spouse will end your relationship sooner than expected. I believe love that is shared by 2 people is not love at all, if it is not grounded in a far richer love from Someone else. Quite intruding isn't it? - that Someone else has to be involved in your love. We have distorted love to thinking that it is dependent on the 2 alone. That is why Valentines Day adds plenty of stress to millions of men around the world :-) Men think they have to do whatever it takes to satisfy a woman's need for affection, romance, and desire. How dare a man rely on Someone Else's love to fully satisfy a woman. Many women resent men who rely on Someone Else's love - because that Someone Else's love is sometimes not comfortable. It is often not what is in the movies - this love doesn't come with Brad Pitt and Megan Fox sensibilities.

A man or woman that relies on Someone Else's love to love their significant other is a man or woman that understands love in its fullest form. This man or woman knows that the ultimate romance story needs a source of love that is not human. Human love is boring. Human love is conditional. Human love is short-lived. Human love is flowers and chocolates. Someone Else's love is freedom from anxiety. Human love is sex before marriage. Someone Else's love is fullness and contentment. Human love is kisses and hugs. Someone Else's love is the ability to breathe. Human love is rubies and gold. Someone Else's love is consistency and courage.

All love belongs to Someone Else. He is the center. He is the Rock. He is forever. Happy Valentines Day - yes - the day after - because Valentines Day is not a day - it is a human effort at something special that becomes truly special when practiced once the flowers get rotten. Peace, and much love to you - John Baptist!


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