Once a caterer, now a trailblazer
We have the tendency to not be what people have issues with. When we learn that someone hates conservatism, we tend to act more liberal around them. When we learn that someone hates Christianity, we try and show them "cool Christianity." When we learn that someone hates Hinduism, we try and show them the appealing parts of the Hindu culture. We can go down the list with our respective faiths. When we learn that someone has had a bad experience in friendship, we try and become the friend that will never do what the previous person did to hurt them. When our white brothers and sisters find out that their ethnic friend has been racially stereotyped their entire life, they feel the need to be the 1 white friend that does not do this. We can think of several examples in our daily lives where we strive to become the anomaly - the person that will save the perception of the thing that is being despised. While this may be a truly noble task/desire, I am not so sure that our maker designed us to covet these superhero abilities. Afterall, He likes being the one in charge.
I would like to speak to both groups of people that are involved in this passive manipulation game of catering, and expecting to be catered to. Let us begin with the group that thinks the world should operate based on their issues --
If your friend becomes the person that "never hurt you this way," you will still have the same exact fears in your other friendships. In fact, you will be more sensitized to these fears because you will use your friend as a standard, and expect the same from the rest of the world. Furthermore, your friend will eventually fail -and fail quite miserably. May I suggest that the more critical thing is to free yourself from these expecations in the first place. You can be healed completely from these fears, and experience friendship in the truest form.
If you are racist, and genuinely believe all Sri Lankan Tamils are terrorists and dirty, let me now address you. When you meet me and realize that I am rather passive and clean up extremely well, I will certainly not dispel your theory of the rest of us. I will just be a different kind of Tamil - maybe because I was raised in the states, or maybe because of something else. I might as well not even try to be the one Tamil you trust and accept - it won't change anything for you.
To those constantly needing to be catered to - grow up. In many ways, you are pushing human beings back a few steps. You are not giving people the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them. You are being selfish. You are not loving people unto their Creator. You are loving people unto yourself - this must change. I say this with the utmost humility, because I can struggle with this just as much as you. If we want to have impact in this world, we must be the solution to the world - not the other way around. The world really does not have much for you. People who live like this world is their home are full of unhealthy expectations and demands.
Now to the rest of you - which I imagine are the majority of you reading this. You are the ones that want to save the day. The ones who so desperately want to Clark Kent the situation and be the one that came through. When you tweak your fire for acceptance, you are dying a very slow death. When you become a watered down version of the truth because it would help someone accept you and what you represent, you are cheating the world of your light. I have exhausted my life of this in many ways - and do you know what I realize? You not only diminish your own purpose, but the people you are catering to get worse. They hate the thing you represent even more. As soon as you "mess up," it all goes downhill from there. What is even worse is they never cared to even learn or heal from you in the first place. They just liked the fact that you were a puppet to their demands.
I am not advocating for a de-sensitization to human relationships. Certainly not! I think it is a very loving thing to know those around you, and be there for them in ways they can receive. I think we should only do this to a very bare minimum and be the person we need to be to achieve our dreams and fulfill our calling. When we are formed for a unique destiny, of course we will offend people! Are you nuts? Of course people will hate us! I feel stupid for having to remind us of this - wake up. If you have light, let it shine. If people are threatened, it is because they are looking for the light you have - they have no clue how to attain it - that is why they are so critical. Let me conclude on a personal note ---
Yes, I am Christian. With Christianity comes alot of responsibility and blame. This is true. You have all probably experienced Christians trying to "convert" you. They may have said you are going to hell. They may have judged you. They may have made you feel "less than." For this, I am truly sorry. My heart is with you. I have felt the same things. My purpose on this earth has nothing to do with changing what Christianity means to you all - Frankly, I could care less. You can think Christianity is wonderful, and your hearts and life can still be spiraling out of control. I ask the Christian and non-Christian world to show grace and compassion to one another. Let us seek truth together. When you are right I stand corrected. When I am right, let me know because I love when I'm right :-). In the end, we are human beings full of flaws. The difference between you and me is that I have someone that I place my full trust in - that's it. I will not change for you - Christians and non-Christians. I love you with all my heart and soul, but I will not be moved. Human emotions and thought patterns are not compelling enough for me. I will be as conservative as I see fit, and as liberal as I need to be. I will be as Christian as I want to be, and when you don't like it, you will still listen to my music because I'm just that good. Peace and much love to you - John Baptist!
I would like to speak to both groups of people that are involved in this passive manipulation game of catering, and expecting to be catered to. Let us begin with the group that thinks the world should operate based on their issues --
If your friend becomes the person that "never hurt you this way," you will still have the same exact fears in your other friendships. In fact, you will be more sensitized to these fears because you will use your friend as a standard, and expect the same from the rest of the world. Furthermore, your friend will eventually fail -and fail quite miserably. May I suggest that the more critical thing is to free yourself from these expecations in the first place. You can be healed completely from these fears, and experience friendship in the truest form.
If you are racist, and genuinely believe all Sri Lankan Tamils are terrorists and dirty, let me now address you. When you meet me and realize that I am rather passive and clean up extremely well, I will certainly not dispel your theory of the rest of us. I will just be a different kind of Tamil - maybe because I was raised in the states, or maybe because of something else. I might as well not even try to be the one Tamil you trust and accept - it won't change anything for you.
To those constantly needing to be catered to - grow up. In many ways, you are pushing human beings back a few steps. You are not giving people the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them. You are being selfish. You are not loving people unto their Creator. You are loving people unto yourself - this must change. I say this with the utmost humility, because I can struggle with this just as much as you. If we want to have impact in this world, we must be the solution to the world - not the other way around. The world really does not have much for you. People who live like this world is their home are full of unhealthy expectations and demands.
Now to the rest of you - which I imagine are the majority of you reading this. You are the ones that want to save the day. The ones who so desperately want to Clark Kent the situation and be the one that came through. When you tweak your fire for acceptance, you are dying a very slow death. When you become a watered down version of the truth because it would help someone accept you and what you represent, you are cheating the world of your light. I have exhausted my life of this in many ways - and do you know what I realize? You not only diminish your own purpose, but the people you are catering to get worse. They hate the thing you represent even more. As soon as you "mess up," it all goes downhill from there. What is even worse is they never cared to even learn or heal from you in the first place. They just liked the fact that you were a puppet to their demands.
I am not advocating for a de-sensitization to human relationships. Certainly not! I think it is a very loving thing to know those around you, and be there for them in ways they can receive. I think we should only do this to a very bare minimum and be the person we need to be to achieve our dreams and fulfill our calling. When we are formed for a unique destiny, of course we will offend people! Are you nuts? Of course people will hate us! I feel stupid for having to remind us of this - wake up. If you have light, let it shine. If people are threatened, it is because they are looking for the light you have - they have no clue how to attain it - that is why they are so critical. Let me conclude on a personal note ---
Yes, I am Christian. With Christianity comes alot of responsibility and blame. This is true. You have all probably experienced Christians trying to "convert" you. They may have said you are going to hell. They may have judged you. They may have made you feel "less than." For this, I am truly sorry. My heart is with you. I have felt the same things. My purpose on this earth has nothing to do with changing what Christianity means to you all - Frankly, I could care less. You can think Christianity is wonderful, and your hearts and life can still be spiraling out of control. I ask the Christian and non-Christian world to show grace and compassion to one another. Let us seek truth together. When you are right I stand corrected. When I am right, let me know because I love when I'm right :-). In the end, we are human beings full of flaws. The difference between you and me is that I have someone that I place my full trust in - that's it. I will not change for you - Christians and non-Christians. I love you with all my heart and soul, but I will not be moved. Human emotions and thought patterns are not compelling enough for me. I will be as conservative as I see fit, and as liberal as I need to be. I will be as Christian as I want to be, and when you don't like it, you will still listen to my music because I'm just that good. Peace and much love to you - John Baptist!
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