All by your Lonesome

I do understand I have the tendency to glorify this idea - of always doing things in the quiet of yourself. To always be a lone ranger. To always stay quiet and ready. To always go very far away from the pack - and be alone.

So before you guys read this and think "here he goes again," understand that I can still be right :-)There are times when you need others - yes - and it is very important because God designed us this way. When I speak of being alone, it does not discount our need and dependency on community, people, strangers, etc. In fact, it helps us to have authentic relationships in an authentic way.

That was me clearing my throat and being preemptive in my attack on you haters - now I shall proceed :-)

I have never known an affective person to be a social butterfly. I repeat. I have never known an affective person to be a social butterfly. This does not mean being extroverted. This does not mean having alot of friends. A socialite is someone who lives for social experience. People fill in the voids of their purpose and destiny by having friends - yes, I've said this many times before. You can also be a quiet socialite. This means you can quietly do the same things needy people do. So your disposition does not disguise your flaw.

Most people live like this. They work and then they go out. Then they do this again, and again, and again. People love the hype of human interaction. They love being in the company of people that make them feel something. I have a song on my last record called "Heart Grows Cold." There is a line that says "I see you, making friends with my friends, give up the games, here's where it ends." I remember people begging me to tell them who I was talking about. I am going to reveal the person I was talking about..ready?

I was talking about you. I was talking about anyone that sneaks in friendships. Anyone that doesn't allow God's time to take its full course. We all do this. I am guilty of this too - not just in friendships or with people. But I am so flawed in how I try to do things faster than how God would intend me to operate. I do this because I do not trust the goodness of God. I trust my ability to control. I would suggest that the socialites of our time (aka most people) do the same. It takes alot of guts to take an inventory of whether or not you are this. It takes alot of brutal honesty to look in the mirror and give yourself a gut check. I commend you soliders who will read this and ask yourself and God if this is an issue for you.

I can't help but be reminded of these issues in a season of weddings. People act the same at weddings. Table conversations are the same. Everything - the same. I can't live my life this way. I can't talk about the same things that drones talk about. I can't. I don't want the same for you guys either. I want you to talk about how you plan on reaching the worlds' deepest needs. I don't give a damn about the flower arrangement, the coordination of dresses, or how beautiful everyone looks. If you all wipe off your make-up and take off your suits, we'll then assess how you really look.

The quiet of your soul is very important. It is here that you are dealt with in your purest form. Nothing can hide your scars, dreams, and hopes here. The quiet is when you don't rely on being a part of a clique. The quiet is when your identity has to be formed by something more compelling than being popular. The quiet brings it all to surface. It's amazing - b/c this is the start of how something powerful can be formed through your weakness. This is when you will stop complaining about your miserable existence, and find purpose that will take you to stadium status. I would like to point out that the quiet of your soul does not require you to be an introvert. It requires discipline, self-control, and honesty - all that will be granted through grace. Go at this world alone - I dare you - Do it. You know what happens - the right people will come around you and in the proper dosages. For some of you, I can only be friends with you when you are either in your mid-30s or early 40s. You may hate me for saying it, but I mean it with every ounce of dignity and truth in my bones. Your young self and mine will never co-exist in excellence. This is not to assume that you are the one that needs to grow up. I can see my shortcomings in there also, but I see more of yours - sue me.

For some of us, we will need to stop hanging out with people on the weekends. For some of us, we will have to stop medicating ourselves with distractions. We will have to deal with ourselves - all by our lonesome. The lonelier you get, the more you realize that you are never alone. I write this with a grieving heart, because I want the best for us. I know it's hard. I know. Peace, and ever so much love to you - John Baptist!


  1. As an artist I can testify that this is true! Absolutely true. I would NEVER paint if I had my "fill" of people and going out.

    And I would never deal with my problems (intra- and inter-personal) if I was always in a conversation.

    It can suck spending the whole weekend by yourself, but at my best times I know that being alone doesn't have to be lonely, and even if it is I won't find myself and my people without some heavy investment in solitary work.


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