Cold as Ice

I had a wonderful conversation with a dear friend of mine. This person said that I should write a blog entry to capture the conversation. I agreed. This one is for you :-)

We spoke about what the biggest factors are that make people attracted to a light that seems to outshine the person that the light consumes. We discussed what it is about exceptional people that are vastly different from all those around them. The fiery characteristics that distinguish great people from the average.

For this generation, romantic love (Eros) has been severely poisoned. The poison has found every bone and crevice in a man or woman's soul to constrict and tie up. For this generation, our relationships with the opposite gender have resulted in a spiraling mess that people cannot seem to climb out of.

So the single most important, outward characteristic of a man or woman of destiny in our present time is: - DRUMROLL PLEASE - I can already hear the haterisms as a result of this - ready? - TO NOT BE FLIRTATIOUS.

Yezzur - to not be flirtatious. This seems to be a huge mark of a serious person. Non-flirtatious people find their affirmation from somewhere else - and it seems to be this true affirmation that makes them feel and understand love in its truest/rawest forms. When you are not flirting, people are curious. When you don't want something from someone else, people want something from you - and this poses a wonderful opportunity - For you to give them love in a real way - For you to point them to a God or system of beliefs that have made you secure and solid.

Flirtatious people often say that it's just the way they are. They are open with everyone, and feel comfortable all the time. If you are one of those reading this, I would have to gently and ferociously disagree with you - ten times over. Flirtatious people flirt because they want a reaction - they want to draw something from the opposite gender. May I suggest to you that this reaction is only warranted from one other person on this planet - your spouse. If you don't have a spouse, then be cold as ice. Be a trailblazer and not a follower. May I also suggest to you that your flirtatious disposition will not turn off once you find the person of your dreams - and do you know that you will significantly hurt the person of your dreams if you continue in your flirtatious spirit? ALSO - When you meet someone who you are interested in, be even colder to them - stay even more focused - that's the recipe to finding your soulmate - The more non-flirtatious you are with them, the closer you will be to marrying them.

When you love yourself fully, you will not need to elicit love responses from other people. When you are made whole (in a human sense), you will be unfazed by the glamour of the opposite gender. Ladies - Men don't care about you when they flirt with you - all they want is you to stroke their ego and make them feel like men. Gentlemen - Women don't care about you when they flirt with you - all they want is your attention because part of the difficulty of being a woman is being tied in wanting an identity in a man - you feminists can argue with me all you want but it's true - plus I'm a feminist to some degree.

Your lack of flirtation will make you better - it will make you rare, endangered, and desired - in the right ways. You will become a gem among trash. You will exhibit confidence and swagger that people will want to emulate. You are not throwing away flirtation as some sort of robotic response - but you are trading it in for something better - for your self-worth - for genuine self-esteem.

My amma (mother) used to tell me something all the time - she used to say that being too attractive was not a good thing. I used to giggle when she said it. She wasn't saying that it's a bad thing to be desired - she was saying that alot of responsibility comes with being desired, and those highly wanted will deal with character issues their entire life. When you are focused on the prize, you will not care about what other people think of you - nor will you give 2 hoots about how appealing you are to the other gender.

Become Cold as Ice, so that you will experience a hot, fiery, passionate love.

Peace and Much love to you - John Baptist!


  1. your cold as ice post is some fiyaaah!

  2. your mom explained things pretty well. my mom used to say "make sure you marry someone ugly. it's the only way you'll be happy." to which i would respond "i'm scared."


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